Sit on Kinky Santa's Lap!!!

Seriously, it's worth it! If you haven't joined Fetlife yet you really should so that you can participate in the Sit on Kinky Santa's Lap giveaway. *grins*

Yeah, I admit it, I totally just pimped their giveaway. *smirks*

(What? I want the extra chances to win! *purrrgrowls* I want that 'spensive .. um .. nah, I'm not gonna tell unless I win! :P )

Sex Meme

This is Nyxies fault, the questions were too fun to pass up. :P


This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk: Sex Advice for Men
2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.
3. You must tag 3 people.


1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
Both! Technically 3 a.m. is morning. ;)

2. Better Sex Music: Sade or Marvin Gaye?
Better by far - Disturbed!

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?
Pics are easier to deny, definitely pics.

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr. Doug Ross or Dr. Greg House?
HOUSE!!! .... House = LUST! *purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs*

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
Dildo - I don't do the buzz thing.

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?
Either one works for me, though admittedly if they're off it makes it easier to keep my bits from being spanked by certain feisty people who seem to enjoy that...

7. Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?
Cunt. Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt! I love that word, seriously, it's so deliciously abrasive, curt, powerful... Yum!

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?
Depends on my partner and what they're trying to accomplish, they're both fun but they tend to have different meanings/responses for/from me.

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Airplane?
"Elalator go down da hooooooole!" ... definitely elalator, there's more room to maneuver. *twisted grin*

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?
... hrm. Think I've gotta go North, those pecs are just so pretty!

11. Word preference: Cock or Dick?
Cock definitely. For some reason the word "dick" makes me picture really under endowed gents, there's nothing wrong with that, of course, but it's not my preference.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?
Marilyn Chambers or Annette Haven.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?
Rope. I break out of tape too easily.

14. Give a Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?
Anal sex, definitely anal sex.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?
Can't I just do it the old fashioned way - marry a wealthy old geezer and hump him through a few heart attacks?

16. Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?
Depends on my mood - though admittedly there's something delicious about two cocks just for me... ;)

17. Flavored Oil or Tingling Oil?
Either so long as they aren't sticky - I can't stand sticky.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?
Only my lovers know. :P

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?
I'm not into anonymous sex, never have been. If the sex is good enough, I'm not gonna notice if anyone's watching.

20. Tied to the Bed or Tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross?
CHAINED to a St. Andrew's Cross! ;)

You might just be a C--t...

Right, I decided to have some fun (based on several conversations with assorted female and male friends *grins*)!

- When "bitch" just doesn't begin to cover it ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When you can't help but giggle at someone else's idiocy and suffering ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When the highway patrolmen avoid pulling you over for speeding ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When men only come in handy for: manual labor, fetching things from the highest shelves or squishing icky multi-legged creatures ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When your auto-biography is titled "Penises That Made Me Laugh And The Egos That Destroyed" ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When you can say "I have toys for that." while smirking and really mean it ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When a creditor hangs up on you in tears ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When you can ignore someone until they realize exactly what they did wrong and they slink back with an apology ( jewelry, flowers, the works!) ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When other women advise their friends to ask you for revenge tips ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When you can silently glare at someone for less than a second and get them to do whatever you want them to ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When the men's room gossip wall says "for a good time avoid calling X!!!" ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When a man can say "so what did you think?" and your response is to state without hesitation "when I say I've had better, I'm so NOT exaggerating" ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When the Secretary of Defense considers sending you to hostile countries to "deal with things" ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When PMS and menopause just can't explain your homicidal mood swings ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When a girlfriend asks you to go on a blind date with a guy who hurt her feelings because she knows you'll make him wish he'd never been born ... you might just be a Cunt.
- When you can smile sensually, speak softly, sound sweet and insult someone so terrifically that they're still trying to understand it a week later ... you might just be a Cunt.


... and I might just add more to this in coming weeks depending on how assorted conversations progress. *grins* Hope you got a few chuckles out of it! :D

What kind of date are you?

Right, I did this years ago ... so I retook it... apparently I'm still a total freak. *grins*

Genghis Khunt Random Brutal Sex Master (RBSM) We almost called you Brutus the Uterus and attached this picture: But we figured you wouldn't understand, and rightly so. We don't understand either. So you are Genghis Khunt: master of man, bringer of pain--riding your way to conquest after conquest. Your sexual avarice is legendary. You've already had an unusually high amount of experience, and, still you look for more. You intimidate many. You make no apologies. Your exact female opposite: The Sonnet Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer Personality-wise, you're carefree and relatively easy-going. You don't plan things out ahead of time; you tend to live in the moment. Of course, this can cause some damage when the moment happens to include a screaming orgasm with his younger brother. Hence the 'brutal' tag we've given you. But you know what, take five seconds to lock the doors, and you'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with a little sex, or a whole lot. AVOID: The Slow Dancer (DGLD) CONSIDER: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Playboy (RGSM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid.

FREE sex toys!!!

It's all Nyxie's fault... I have to do this. No, really, you don't understand, I have to! Cuz I wouldn't mind at all wining free kinky stuffs. Seriously, that would be awesome. What? Stop looking at me funny! How could I avoid trying it out when Tattooed Minivan Mom is giving away sex toys? One can never have enough toys... never... especially free toys!... and I might even share with da Nyxie. Maybe. *grins evilly*

158 years ago...

Must ... share ... giggles!


Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state.
The state had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today; except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.


*SMIRKS!*

Corsets...

So I decided to do a little corset shopping this afternoon. I haven't gotten a new on in aaaaages you see, and since my younger brother Mephistopheles and I are actually attending the next fetish event as vendors (yes, you did read that correctly), I figure it'd be nice to have something new and different to wear. One of the many corsets I looked at is the "bank heist" corset at Fredericks, I get a kick out of their stuff, it's so cute. I shared that with several friends in IM ... every one of them laughed. *wonders why a corset specifically for bank heists is funny* ... I shall have to ponder this muchly. That is all. ;)

~loves~