Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Things I've learned...

First of all - Happy St. Patty's Day to all ye Irish descendants! And a bonnier day I couldn't hope for! :)

Have you ever had one of those mornings where, after a long hot shower, you feel so amazingly clean that it's just downright abnormal somehow and you have a severe impulse to dash outside and roll around on some nice fresh cut grass or something in order to not feel so "weird" anymore? ... yeah, it's one of those mornings.

So even though I usually do "things I've learned..." on Fridays - cuz I'm a rebel like that ye see - I'm going to do it today instead. Cuz I'm nice sometimes. And I'm bored. And I haven't done it in like three weeks or something.. so here ya go, enjoy! :P

1. Waking up and spending two hours masturbating really, really makes you hungry for the rest of the day.

2. Especially if you eventually cum from it. *nods wisely*

3. Popcorn and hot chocolate go well together and make a wonderfully nutritious meal!

4. Butterflies should not try to fly across freeways unless they're suicidal.

5. Suicidal butterflies have this really, really strange tendency to get sucked in through that like inch that I have the window of the truck open, thereby committing suicide by smacking into my head...

6. ... this actually hurts more than most people would think, and it does not make me happy.

7. Trusting people who are "advisers" at community colleges... not so good an idea!

8. If it turns out that taking geology was worthless as far as fulfilling any of my requirements and transferring credit-wise goes.. I'm gonna be homicidally unhappy.

9. Having a guaranteed A in philosophy makes me happy.

10. Having an A in the evil mathness also makes me happy, but only because it means that all my damned studying and growling is paying off. Slowly but surely.

11. Discovering that I have to take more math than I wanted to in order to avoid taking more language than I want to ... sucks severely huge, dirty, sweaty, nasty, hairy donkey balls.

12. Schoolgirl skirts are evil and cause trouble. One should only wear them if they are a schoolgirl or they like trouble.

13. Trouble comes in all shapes, sizes, colours and flavours. Not something I didn't already know, but it certainly bears repeating.

14. Some cocks ... are just so disturbingly, deliciously suckable ... that ya can actually miss them. Just the cocks, not necessarily the males attached to them.

15. Watching yummy bdsm porn tends to enhance all sorts of naughty desires. *nods sagely*

16. Spring break rocks.

17. Except the part where I need to study for the math midterm that happens the day I get back to school. *mutters*

18. And the part where I have to clean one hundred fifty-seven million, nine hundred eighty-four thousand, three hundred twenty-six dishes.

19. If not for stupid laws about things like killing other people being all rude and stuff.. my roommate would be about eighty-seven feet under at this point. He frustrates me.

20. Being horny, irritated and hungry all at once... creates an interesting internal conflict that leads to thoughts such as "yanno, if you were a zombie stripper... you could kill him, fuck him and eat him all at once and it'd be totally cool with everyone around ya!"

21. I really do have a frozen octopus tentacle with which to poke da Nyxie in da breasts if she doesn't find #20 totally giggle worthy... not so much something I've "learned" as something I'm promising to do and later post about. *grins*

And I think that's enough for now! :P


Nyxmyst said...

I totally dare you. No tentacle shall scare me! I LIKE hentai :P

Tempestuous said...

*makes a mental note to get another, bigger, spookier tentacle sometime around May, with which to poke Nyx bewbies!*

phoenix said...

HA!! Admit it, you have conformed to the Things I've Learned rule! Once and for all you're like the rest of us.

Actually can't speak for Nyx but I almost snorted popcorn (without hot chocolate) through my nose laughing. How's that for an image that'll stick with ya?

Tempestuous said...

*blinks and giggles at phoenix* ... snorting popcorn does Not sound conducive to good health.. *grins*

And I haven't conformed, I just had time to be -on- today :D

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