Friday, February 27, 2009


Right so I just needed to share this post my friend sapphire shared, cuz it's just that damn good. Go, read it now and giggle. That is all. ;)

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Words of Wisdom...

So I'm pretty sure that there is a higher being out there, because I don't know anyone else who gets fortune cookies like the ones I do. Like this one:

Time is not measured by a watch but by moments.
Moments, however, are measured by watches.

... *blinks once, slowly* ... Right, so, like I said, I'm pretty sure there's a higher being out there, cuz She/he/it is really enjoying fucking with my head through my fortune cookies.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


{We interrupt today's Blog of Morality for this special update!}

So I've discovered that it's not so much math that I dislike so much as fractions in assorted math problems. I have a theory as to why:

I'm a greedy cunt!

I loathe fractions because I don't want part of something. I want the whole damn thing dammit!

*grumbles muchly*

I wonder if I could get away with writing something like

"I refuse to acknowledge the following questions (1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20 and 21) due to the inclusion of fractions. I find fractions offensive because I'm a greedy cunt. When you have fixed this issue in a satisfactory manner that no longer offends this particularly greedy cunt I will be happily answer questions 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 19, 20 and 21. Thank you - Da Bitch"

on tomorrows exam without my instructor having a heart attack? Definitely worth pondering.

{The Blog of Morality will return next week at it's regularly scheduled time. We apologize for any inconvenience.}

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Writing Weirdness...

So I mentioned, when I did that blog about what my themes were going to try to stick to, that I would sometimes post my own poems or writing. So I've decided to start with this, mostly cuz since it's my blog I can do that ye see. *smiles* I'm not looking for critiques and will probably mostly ignore them, but if ya wanna say that you love my writing, you're confused by it or it's shit that you loathe... that's totally cool. (Hell, I don't like my poetry myself, I even did a poem about that, which I'll post... eventually.)

So I'm starting with "word poems". Each of these was written over the course of one particular week, sometime in the early summer (most likely May) of 2005... some of them for absolutely no apparent reason of any kind. The 'note' below was also something written at that same time. Oh and this is just
some of them, there was like thirty of them. I'll probably post a few more next week or something...

Note: There are multiple millions of words in the English language, a good number of which are 'foreign', with new ones being added every day. If I were to try to fill a single book with poems purely for / of words I could work several lifetimes, write millions of tiny blurbs and never come close to finishing.


Much of the


Try to


You accept.







Monday, February 23, 2009

Weekly Weather Report

I meant to do this yesterday, but I got distracted... it's all my brothers fault. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! But anyway, onto the weekly weather report:

This weeks Seven Day Outlook:

Monday: In the morning, high risk of cleaning storms, about ninty percent. Counters will clear up and tempers will soar by mid afternoon followed by a much needed shower and heavy study-traffic around the computer desk areas. In the evening, fair chance of a siblings hockey game, about eighty-five percent, followed by a lengthy drive to deliver kinky toys. Tempers will drop severely overnight with a chance of decent sleep until the alarm blares sometime early Tuesday.

Tuesday: In the morning, moderate chance of forgetting something important before dashing out the door to school coinciding with a high risk of accidentally running into the door frame and mashing a poor innocent breast roughly, about ninty-seven percent. Stress levels will rise sharply during psychology with a chance of panic attacks by mid-test. Worries will slowly fall into the afternoon with frustration levels rising sharply around one-thirty p.m. In the evening, risk of insane giggling, around ninty-three percent, followed by an exhausted calm settling in the area of the computer lab until the "chauffer" arrives. Talking will increase significantly with a moderate chance of minor verbal explosions until bedtime.

Wednesday: In the morning, olfactory senses will be offended, moderately to strongly, until the kitty box has been thoroughly cleaned, followed by felines plotting and attempting murder until their appetites are sated. High risk of household chores through the morning, about eighty-five percent, before frustration levels and tempers rise due to a nasty increase in studying for math. By late afternoon thoughts of killing math instructors and burning math books will be at a high of ninty-nine percent, risk of study cessation also roughly ninety-nine percent. In the evening, stress levels will wane due to giggle levels increasing dramatically either from futzing around at the computer or watching silly cartoon movies. Overnight, tempers will settle, risk of dreams being significantly stranger than normal.

Thursday: In the morning, high probability of forgetting to eat as stress levels skyrocket without warning upon the realization that no amount of studying will have adequately prepared for the math test, followed by almost hysterical compulsive glances into math notes throughout the morning. In the afternoon, determination not to commit homicide-suicide during math class will wane briefly before recieving test, quickly followed by quiet chuckles as the test is completed in under fifteen minutes. Late afternoon high chance of giggly hysteria before and through homework and other classes, followed by intense relaxation near the computer lab with a possibility of random poetry creation, around seventy percent.

Friday: In the morning, high risk of not getting out of bed until nearly noon, around ninety-five percent followed by ignoring the felines biting at ankles and toes because they're hungry. By early afternoon probability of resumed storms of cleaning coinciding with dark grumblings over how only one person in the house ever does any cleaning, approximately one hundred percent. In the evening, significant chance of attending siblings hockey game coinciding with a sore throat from screaming encouragement or abuse at sibling because he sucks mightily.

Saturday: In the morning, chances of yard work imminent immediately after tending to pushy felines, followed by advantagously enjoying being home alone for a few brief hours. Chances of attempts at studying by early afternoon, around thirty-seven percent. In the evening, probability of verbal sparring rises sharply followed by intense and frequent eye rolling at the sibling and frantic typing in the computer keyboard area. Overnight, risks of not going to bed at a decent hour dramatically increase in tandem with giggle storms.

Sunday: In the morning, chances of saying "fuck the morning I'm staying in bed!" rise signficantly as any hint of light causes hissing and knee-jerk pulling covers over head reaction. By early afternoon food needs will force a more animated response followed by attempted murder from the irritated felines. Late afternoon risk of studying coinciding with much growling every time it's interrupted, roughly ninety-percent. In the evening, chances of blogging rise significantly despite attempts to get shit done.

Random Quote Mondays

And now for another totally random quote:

I'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes! At least, I think it's my life...
was I ever dancing with an android named Lupé?!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Ten Husbands...

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"


So I decided that I needed to actually figure out what my themes are (other than being insane) because I seem to be having some difficulty with this whole "days of the week" thing. I'm sure I had it mastered at some point in the past, but I just can't seem to keep it straight any more - the week starts on Tuesday right? (It'd probably help if I knew what today was. *chuckles*)

Right so as things stand, this is, more or less, what my plans are, I think:

Sundays - the weekly weather report and jokes, jokes and more jokes! Unless I forget. Or feel like posting about something I'm thinking or feeling instead. Or I decide to just babble insanely. Insane is good.

Mondays - are a Random Quote kind of day *nods* I don't know why, it just feels so damn good to randomly quote things on Mondays...

Tuesdays - I may occasionally post one of my own poems or a short story or a long story or something, depending on my mood and how much I feel like scaring the natives. ;)

Wednesdays - ugh, evil hump day - not the good kind of hump *mutters* so I get a little bit "more insane than usual", which is why the Blog of Morality just fits in so nicely. Assuming I remember to do it. Expect occasional delays. ;)

Thursdays - are for fortune cookie fun. There are about seventy-nineteen-billion fortunes all over my house (we like American Chinese food *grins*)... when I pick them up and look at them they're usually insane. I must share that with you. *nods sagely*

Fridays - will usually be when I tell you all about the Things I've Learned. Unless I forget. Considering how stuffed my brain feels lately, it will happen from time to time.

Saturdays - are a strange kind of day, so sometimes on Saturdays I'm going to post Other Peoples Poetry - why? Well why not? It sounds like fun to me and it may be some REALLY random stuff. ;)

I think that about covers it, cuz yanno, all the random stuff like this will happen pretty much whenever the mood strikes me.. yep. *nods tarragonly*

Friday, February 20, 2009

Things I've learned...

This has been a rather interesting week so far...

1) The lovely pale white top portion of my breasts has intriguing powers over tipsy males at Fetish events. Not so much something I just learned as something I was reminded of on Valentine's Day - and what a sweet, yummy reminder it was.

2) Although I suck as a salesperson in general that is, apparently, not true when it comes to kinky things. I did most of the sales at the event, much to my younger brothers surprise. More surprisingly I talked a lot of people into buying hardware! Panic snaps, mmmmm... I guess I found my 'niche'. ;)

3) Getting almost no sleep for a week doesn't make my body happy. Especially if I plan on getting some the following week only to realize I don't have time to do so.

4) Planning on getting sleep next week also doesn't make my body happy. Apparently it just assumes I'm lying. I'm not lying, I'm just probably wrong about my ability to get a bit more sleep next week. *nods*

5) Psychology is such a yummy subject, I'm soaking it in like a sponge and already using it as a "weapon" against tripods (or so one recently pouted at me when I skewered him in PM - what he didn't know is that I would've been able to do that without taking a psych class, I've always been able to do that *chuckles*).

6) Thinking about enthusiastically fellating someone while I'm supposed to be listening to my professor discussing states of consciousness is probably not the best way to take in the information, even if it does qualify as an altered state of consciousness (fantasizing counts! Ha!).

7) Apparently I'm also distracting the guy who sits next to me in class... Probably because I keep flirting with him. (What? He's cute!)

8) In retrospect, giving him the url to my blog and then posting about him may not be the smartest of things I've ever done come to think of it... but I won't erase things, I'm a bit too 'ballsy' to do so. *laughs*

9) Philosophy is turning into a very interesting class since we've finally gotten to materialism / dualism / etc. Watching the instructor react with such exaggerated surprise when I spout Latin at him because no one else recognizes Descartes name makes me giggle.

10) Cogito ergo sum. ;)

11) I can function in philosophy with only four hours of sleep under my proverbial belt so long as I'm horny. *grins lazily*

12) I remembered, this week, why I really loathe math. It's evil and pointless.

13) When math frustrates me ... at some point I begin to have mental images of being taken out of my class on a stretcher in a straight jacket with my hair all poofied and blood all over my face from tearing out my instructors throat to make the evil end...

14) ... this makes me giggle even though it would result in a decided change in my life plans and lifelong therapy for my (former) classmates.

15) I get along with sixteen year old girls surprisingly well.

16) I get along with my geology lecture partner even better - which is weird cuz our astrological signs are fairly combative. *grins*

17) Astrological signs are decent indicators of stereotypical psychological types, particularly from a Jungian perspective, but they can never tell the whole story. ;)

18) Plotting to have a truly delicious, excellent birthday (particularly when it just happens to coincide with the beginning of spring break!) can lead to ever so sweetly and politely asking an instructor to pleeeeease give us a quiz earlier in the week than when it's scheduled for.

19) Having a really excellent reason for the request (like the whole "so many people are probably going to 'leave early' for spring break trips, like to Henderson / Vegas to visit family, so it might be a really good idea to do it Tues if at all possible") results in the instructor promising to consider it because that's a really good point before also saying that if I do happen to miss the Thurs lecture that week she'll let me make it up after spring break.

17) I really am a "teachers pet" apparently. *chuckles*

18) No, I'm not really going to Vegas for my birthday / spring break (at least as far as I know).

Yep, it's been an interesting week. *smiles wickedly*

158 years ago...

Must ... share ... giggles!

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state.
The state had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like California today; except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Madness Takes Its Toll...

Today's fortune cookie is an old one that's just so worth mentioning again, I will never ever EVER forget getting this from a real cookie in a restaurant (as opposed to those jokey ones out there):

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something...
wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Wow man.... heavy, deep..... *giggles*

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Dammit I don't know how to feel!

My roommate (who drives me insane and nearly homicidal every time we interact with his irritating apathy) just got called into work. I'm frustrated and happy at the same time.

I'm frustrated because for ONCE he was ACTUALLY CLEANING THINGS! On his own! Without so much as a single =look= from me to try to prompt him into it! And not just one thing, lots of things!!!

I'm happy because he drives me insane and I'm trying to do my homework so him gone drives me less insane and maybe I'll finish sooner....

... but he was cleaning ... but now he can't drive me more nuts (as usual). Gaaaaah!!

Someone tell me what to feel! (Imagine that in a desperate Martin Short yelling kind of voice.)

Blog of Morality...

And now it's time for another installment of the Blog of Morality!

Me: Hey chicklets it's that time again --
Myself: to run around naked in the rain?
I: to 'accidentally' cut the brake lines on my math teachers car?
Me: *eyes I* NO. It's time to learn todays lesson. *tugs the huge Blog out from behind the firewall*
Myself: Oh lord you're going to chant again aren't you...
Me: *smirks* Yes, but not about typing, I fixed the Blog so that it's a big spinning wheel so my chanting won't be quite as bad.
I: HA!
Me: *glares, gives the wheel a good spin and starts chanting* Blog of Morality, turn, turn, turn... Tell us the lesson that we should learn!
I: *mutters* I hope it's better than last weeks...
Me: Moral number three! And the moral of today is: Live life without restraint, unless you're into bondage - then by all means, use restraints.
Myself: That sounds so familiar somehow...
I: ...probably because you're a slut?
Myself: ... Who told?!
Me: We now return you to your regularly scheduled Wednesday. Again.

{Eventually the insanity will start to get to you... but by then you'll be addicted. MWUhahahahaha!}

Psuedo-fixes and weird dreams....

Right so before I go do some cleaning and feed the kitties and remember to eat and then work on my homework / studying for HOURS *le sigh* ... two things need to be posted. *nods wisely*

First - basically all of ya have told me at some point that for some reason my blog wasn't letting you comment. I kept telling it to let ya and it wasn't, Kay was fantabulous and explained this morning (really, really, really early this morning) that apparently there's some sort of script error with the nifty dragony background I was using. So for the moment I've reverted it back to a 'normal' background until I can make mine own (which will require lots of picking ETs head *nodsnods, grins*). You may have noticed that it's pink. In case you haven't noticed... notice that it's pink. *giggles* It's pink. *looks angelic*

Moving right along! Dreams are very funny things, oh yes they certainly are... right before I woke up this morning I had a dream. A weird dream. I dreamed that my Mom bought me a board game called "Manifest Destiny" (it was like a cross between Monopoly and Life) and apparently I was really happy about this, even though I was sweeping and I wasn't supposed to be but apparently I couldn't help myself at the time. From there things get even MORE weird, I know it sounds difficult to believe, but they do. The dream morphed into a strange Indiana Jones-ish kind of 'adventure' in a tremendously tall mall (we're talking twenty stories or something ridiculous). Running around with me was Dr. Grant (from Jurassic Park), Wadsworth
(Tim Curry in Clue), a brother who clearly wasn't my actual brother but was apparently my brother in the dream and some British or Canadian Prime Minister type person... at one point Wadsworth and my 'brother' are on a skateboard, while the ministery dude is on one with Dr.Grant while I, apparently being cooler than them, am sort of flying-ish... *giggles* ... we're running away from velociraptors, only the raptors look like the came out of
Dinosaurs! For some reason they're communicating telepathically but we can all hear it and we're taunting them for their "which way did they go george, which way did they go?" personalities, particularly when they refer to the ministery type guy as being a president and calling him 'fat'. Toss onto all of this that the mall is, apparently, possessed or something (the floors keep moving around, particularly around staircases and escalators, like the pyramid in Alien v. Predator) and it pretty much explains why I woke up and stared at my ceiling blinking and went "... what the fuck?" Particularly since the last thing I watched on tv was Oliver and Company.

Dreams... are Weird. Welcome to my insanity. *giggles wickedly and dashes off to do some cleaning*

{We now return you to your regularly scheduled day.}

Monday, February 16, 2009

Random Quote Mondays

I've decided to share random quotes on Mondays. Why? Well because I don't have much else to do other than study and clean on Mondays, so a bit of randomness will keep me quasi-sane.

Today's quote comes from a movie, kudos and hugs if you know what it's from without googling or imdb'ing!:

Climb the Eiffel Tower with a high-powered rifle. A few years ago, that would've caused a stir...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Post Fetish Goodness...

Right it's 12:40 p.m. (despite the fact that my blog seems to think it's a totally different time and has been arguing with me about posting this) and I've been up for exactly forty minutes now. *nods* Yep, forty minutes. Now admittedly I didn't go to bed until about four a.m. but usually my body doesn't care about that kind of thing, by nine a.m. I'm up, period... apparently this morning my body was willing to admit that it actually needed a "decent full nights rest!" Whodathunk?

Fetish Revolutions 9 (I don't think the picture gallery for it is up yet but you're welcome to look) was actually quite a bit better than anticipated considering the number of other events that were also taking place last night (more than one of which also being kinky events). Meph and I actually did quite well as vendors which was an pleasant surprise since there were three other vendors who had floggers. It made for both a socially and financially nice evening, although I do feel bad for the two jewelry vendors - as I understand it neither of them made back their vendor fee. :(

I'm sore in assorted places for assorted reasons and I'll let your imaginations wander on that. *grins* Now I'm just wondering if I'll hear from a tasty pair of males who managed to get my information before the event ended and my weekend will be made (despite the philosophy test paper I need to finish *laughs*). Off for food I go. ;)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Things I've learned...

"And now for another installment ooooof..." ... things I've learned! *chuckles* I'm amusing myself far too much today. It's the lack of sleep I think. But moving along!

1) No matter how long I'm gone from the academic world I will always be that person in the class who the teachers adore and think of as an "unofficial TA".

2) And then tease me lots when they forget something, turn to me for a prompting ("Oh, that Greek hero you're trying to remember is Bellerophon.)" and my response is *blinkblink* "Dammit, I -know- it, it's on the tip of my tongue!" before I remember that I'm at school and so I'm supposed to try not to curse like a drunken sailor...

3) Those same teachers will also take great pleasure in teasing me for doing the work ahead of time and somehow coming up with 137% of something because math and I dislike each other. A lot.

4) I take teasing from teachers I like way more gracefully than from, say, my brother who is usually a complete asshole.

5) Apparently I will also always be that classmate who frets over not having studied enough, convinced that she failed miserably and should just kick this whole "school thing" to the curb...

6) ... and then still gets a nice high A.

7) Which will piss off a lot of the people around me.

8) Although they'll try really hard not to show it because I've been sooooooooo nice to them every time we've chatted. *smiles evilly*

9) Which I will recognize because they get that "my face is going to break any second now" twitchy look while they try to happily smile at me when they really just wanna bitchslap me.

10) I actually wouldn't mind if one or two of the really sexy male ones bitchslapped me.

11) ... so long as we aren't still at school at the time. *nods*

12) Trying to keep a house clean when you live with a pair of thoughtless, self-centered bachelors is like trying to swim in jello - it just doesn't work and by the time you realize it you're exhausted and you've eaten your way through nine boxes of the wiggly stuff only to realize you're going to die in a moment anyway.

13) Explaining things like #12 to other people with a very matter of fact voice makes people either tilt their head in confusion wondering why you know that it's not possible to swim through jello, ask out loud if anyone could actually eat nine boxes of jello, or giggle a LOT.

14) I like the ones that giggle.

15) Creepy people can be found anywhere, especially on college campuses.

16) Inevitably they will find me and take it upon themselves to sit down with me and start weird religious conversation...

17) to paraphrase horrifically from Miracle on 34th St: "Yes Jeje, there is a sign over your head that says 'Soul Saving Needed Here!' ...really."

18) Philosophy, when used with a sweet tone of voice and a rapier wit, can scare away even the creepy religous guys.

19) That makes me giggle a Lot.

20) Until I bump into the creepy guy hours later and he remembers me and tells me he's looking forward to chatting again sometime.

21) Stalkers, when they're creepy-religious-guys instead of delectable-sexy-well-hung-guys, suck huge, heavy, nasty, sweaty donkey balls.

22) I have a very strong desire to find the secret colony where the delectable-sexy-well-hung stalker guys are hiding.

23) The depths of my embraced-insanity make for a great conversation motivator in my philosophy class. People start getting substantially more interactive if it's been too quiet for too long and I start to compare something we've just discussed to something the Marquis de Sade wrote in Justine or The 120 Days of Sodom.

24) It's important not to try to look at my notebook during math when I'm taking notes - when I do I get quiet and for some reason this prompts my instructor to call on me (even though I usually answer thirty of her forty questions ever damn class period just because it irritates me that no one else bothers and then she looks like she's going to explain something again that she's just gone over fourteen times already).

25) Calling on me when I'm not expecting it causes me to look up, startled, and blurt out things like, "Shit, fuck, what was the question?"

26) This makes my math instructor change colours...

27) ... and I have to try really hard not to giggle but to instead look very contrite as I babble out a quick 'sorry' before quickly supplying an answer of "negative 2x" ... because for some reason, that's always the answer when she calls on me unexpectedly.

And I think that'll cover it for now since I've just remembered that I have a take home test I need to finish for philosophy in addition to a lot of reading for assorted classes, all of which I'm supposed to do between making more and more and more toys for the Fet event and the order we have to finish filling now that I'm no longer trying to cough up my assorted organs. *nods* More on all of that some random time later this weekend! :D

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Did you know...

... fortune cookies are actually not Chinese? *nods* Mmhmm, it's true, you can read about it here if you like. With that in mind, it probably explains why some of the fortunes I get at times are so amusing, or just flat out odd, or not really 'fortunes', although the lucky numbers often come in handy. ;)

Todays cookie told me:

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given a chance.

So, keep that in mind all you doubters out there, I will take over the world, my fortune cookie said so! Nyah!

"We now return you to your regularly scheduled sanity."

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Blog of Morality...

At some point in the past most of us have seen the cartoon Animaniacs, so we're probably all vaguely familiar with the "Wheel of Morality"... why on earth am I mentioning this? Well, because I've decided to do a Blog of Morality once a week, probably usually on Wednesdays. I'm sure it will be just as random as theirs was...

Me: It's that time again --
Myself: to do the dishes?
I: to chuck heavy things at our roommates?
Me: no! It's time to learn todays lesson!
Myself: And here we thought we'd get away with just talking to the cats today...
Me: *tugs a huge Blog out from behind the firewall and starts chanting* Blog of Morality, type, type, type... Tell us the lesson that we should imbibe --
I: *winces* ... that was terrible.
Me: Oh hush! Moral number twelve. And the moral of today is: Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker.
Myself: How moving!
I: Indeed, I can barely contain my joy.
Myself: That's because those pants don't fit properly. *rimshot!*
Me: We now return you to your regularly scheduled Wednesday!

{Yes it's true... I amuse myself all too frequently with just how odd I can be. *beams*}

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Things I've learned...

Right, so... I meant to do this every Friday (I figure being back in school after so much time means I should learn a fair number of things each week *nods solemnly*) ... and I've already fallen behind. Somehow that just figures, honestly. *chuckles* So even though it's Saturday, here goes, in no particular order the things I've learned in the past twoish weeks are:

1) Being a non-traditional student is actually pretty cool (more on this later perhaps).

2) I take WAY better notes and pay much better attention in my classes than I realized.

3) Studying is just as BLERGH now as it was fifteen years ago.

4) Letting my advisor talk me into five classes PLUS a lab for my first semester back was silly.

5) Dropping English (which was putting me to sleep) before the cut off date so that I get a full refund and so that I only have four classes plus a lab while still maintaining 'full time' student status, was actually really smart.

6) Choosing to drop English instead of Math was difficult...

7) ... because I'm SO not fond of math...

8) ... but it was SO worth it! (It actually did lighten my course load to drop English while dropping Math wouldn't really have accomplished that. *hehe*)

9) Getting homework done and studying is actually way easier when you don't have to: read two chapters for Psych, a chapter for Philo, do three sections of Math homework, read four thirty-page stories for English, work on a lab for Geo lab and read a chapter for Geo lecture all in basically one night. Cutting out those four thirty-page stories really, really adds up. *grins*

10) Having a pinched nerve that pretty much prevents you from standing or walking around for more than five minutes at a time... really, really sucks when it takes about twelve minutes to go from your philosophy class to your math class on the other side of campus. *nods*

11) Getting back your test score from the first Psych test to discover that you only got two regular questions and one bonus question wrong when you were certain that you fucked up entirely and should probably leave right now! ... is a really, really awesome warm fuzzy feeling. :D

12) Getting back your test score from the first Math test to discover that you were the only person in the class to get an A (94 out of a 100! w00t!!) ... is WAY more than a warm fuzzy feeling!

13) It pisses off the girl you sit next to who's taken things like college calculus and statistics when you get an A and she gets a C....

14) ... trying to control laughter in that situation is particularly difficult...

15) ... even though it's not your fault that she didn't remember to test out of her math courses.

16) Getting two awesome test scores kind of eclipses over getting perfect scores on multiple quizzes for some reason. :)

17) Making random comments to the girl behind you in psychology can, apparently, get the attention of the guy sitting next to you.

18) And make him start flirting.

19) Which can lead to all SORTS of discoveries.

20) Like the fact that he's single and intrigued by you in assorted ways.

21) *grins wickedly*

22) I'm way more naughty than I give myself credit for.

23) Having the guy next to you in Psych start flirting is, apparently, good motivation for wearing a shirt that's a bit tight around the mammary section of the feminine body.

24) Wearing such shirts... does not go unnoticed.

25) *grins wickedly* (<= It bore repeating. *winks*)

26) *sings* It's a small campus after all...

27) ... as evidenced by the fact that the girl who had been giggling at her laptop in the cafe driving me nuts the past couple weeks is actually in my Psych class ...

28) ... and really nice ...

29) ... which I found out while sitting at the comp lab, rather bored, waiting for my brother to show up. *chuckles*

30) ... I'm capable of striking up TOTALLY random conversations with absolutely anyone at any time and in any place.

31) ... that should probably frighten people.

32) ... it does frighten my Philo class.

33) ... which I know because after Jim (our instructor) quoted something of Voltaires, I first responded to it and then turned my head and asked Jeff (whose name I knew because I overheard him talking to someone outside the classroom last week sometime) what he thought about it.

34) ... and apparently he thought something which he couldn't share, because his face turned bright red and he stammered something incoherent before Jim took pity on him and started talking again.

35) ... have I mentioned that I've learned that I'm way more evil than I realized?

36) My math teacher isn't quite the Nazi I thought she was... she's just severely anal.

37) ... not in that good fun way some of you are thinking of and snickering about either.

38) Apparently I'm really, really good at Geology.

39) This makes both my lab professor (AJ) and my lecture professor (Donna) really happy.

40) It also makes my lab partners (Casey, Leila, Bret and sometimes David and Danny) also very happy.

41) Especially on Thursdays when they realize that they don't have a clue what they're doing and that I'm not only done and have all the correct answers as checked over by AJ, but that I'm also perfectly capable and willing of helping them go through it over and over and over and over until it actually makes sense to them.

42) That also makes both AJ and Donna very happy.

43) It seems to amuse them too.

44) I cannot for the life of me remember certain peoples names, I'm not sure why.

45) When I can't remember someones name I make up my own names for them. (Like the maintenance / campus safety guy whom I call Zorro because of the sunglasses he wears, even though I -think- his name is Terry.)

46) That may be a bad thing, most of the jury's still out on it. Zorro's pretty happy with it though.

47) I have enough faith in Roy's (the fry cook in the cafe) abilities that I'm actually willing to try new things sometimes, like the beef chimichanga he made for me on Thursday, which was actually really really tasty and filling. :D

48) Although eating things like that makes it rather difficult to do homework at the same time. *nods*

.... and I think that about covers it for now. I probably learned more (well, ok, actually I'm pretty sure I did) but I wouldn't want to overwhelm anyone. I'm just too nice and thoughtful that way. *winks*

Monday, February 2, 2009

The Asshole.

So I've always known my brother was an asshole, but I kind of figured that part of it was bravado yanno? Just for show. I wasn't sure if it was because he thought it was cool or something but I figured he couldn't really be as bad as he tries to make out, honestly I don't think anyone is as bad as my brother tries to make out.

Tonight he proved that I'm wrong.

Yep, mark your calendars, I'm admitting I'm wrong. My brother really is just as much of an asshole as he portrays himself as.

How did he prove this? Well as some of you know I'm pretty sure that the abnormally severe pain I'm in right now is because I'm in the process of passing a kidney stone (yay, just what I needed and wanted, more 'fucked up body' stuffs). Several of you have urged me to go to the ER for assorted reasons. Hell I've even been willing to do so, because I'm in enough pain that I'm actually acknowledging that I'm in pain. It started yesterday morning. I have not yet gone to the ER. At this point I'm completely willing to admit that I really, really should. Unfortunately for me the nearest one is about half an hour away. I won't call an ambulance, it's not an emergency by my definitions - I'm not losing blood, none of my limbs are hanging by a thread, nothing has bitten or stung or otherwise managed to poison me, in short I'm not about to die. Unfortunately for me there are no buses out here and I don't drive.

Despite the pain I'm in I've been trying not to disrupt my brothers exceptionally heavy homework load by making him take me - I even came up with a great plan today. I pushed myself, I breathed through the pain while walking or just standing around doing things, for about five minutes at a time. I figured if I could push it to about ten minutes I'd be ok at school tomorrow without help. But that hasn't worked.. so I suggested that, well, if I'm not going to the ER (when I clearly should), the least he could do is either stick around on campus or come back before my philosophy class ends so he can snag me and drop me off on the other side of campus where my math class is and which takes me roughly twelve minutes to walk to.

He's flat out refused to do so, because it would inconvenience him, it would disrupt the chain of events he has planned for tomorrow - a plan which, I might add, he's unlikely to actually stick to either way because he never follows plans like that if I'm not there to nag and bitch at him.


So I'm not going to the ER tonight even though I actually want to, for lovely pills that will take the edge off and a confirmed diagnosis of why I'm in pain, and I'm not getting any help for my twelve minute walk between philo and math tomorrow even though so far the best I've managed before I'm just about doubled over and whimpering is five minutes.

My brother isn't just an asshole. He really is The Asshole.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Just a reiteration...

I've said it before, but every so often it bears repeating:

Men Fucking Suck.

That pretty much sums it all up right there.