Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Writing Weirdness...

And now back to some more of those "word poems", cuz I'm feeling all evil and stuff. ;)


Consciousness of


Little rearranging.




Sadden others.



Sunday, March 29, 2009

Things I've learned...

So I've been naughty lately, not posting as much as I should. I know this because some people have poked at me and asked me ever so sweetly to post more.

I've been busy! Honest, I have that whole 'school' thing taking up lots of my attention. You know, classes, studying, homework, all that fun jazz.

And there's stresses too! Stresses about finances and family and grades and trying to keep a house clean where the only person who ever does anything about it is Me...

So I've learned a lot the past few weeks, and haven't shared a whole bunch of it (cuz sometimes I'm just mean and selfish like that doncha know?), but I figured: enough of you have poked at me in various places *grins* that I should probably share some (maybe even some of the stuff that I didn't share in my last 'things I've learned' post *grins*), and what better time to do it than after a Concert.

Oooooooh yeah!

1. Sometimes birthdays aren't totally sucky occasions. How sweet is that?

2. Asshole younger brothers, while managing to remain totally assholey, can sometimes surprise you and do really thoughtful nice things. Usually around birthdays. I'm certain there's some sort of totally ironic, weird coincidence in this somehow.

3. Spring Break is actually a really, really evil thing.

4. Accomplishing anything during spring break is practically impossible.

5. Especially studying.

6. Unless anatomy counts, even when you aren't taking any anatomy classes.

7. You get less sleep during spring break than you do during normal school weeks and, when it's over, you need a week to recover. This is as true for certain teachers as it is for most students.

8. Evil mathness midterms the day you return from spring break... very not cool. That goes way beyond "evil" by the way, that's just twisted and sick in a "wrong" kind of way.

9. For some reason some of my classmates think there's something wrong with me (which may be marginally true, but not for the reasons they think)...

10. ... only getting a B on a psych test and being disappointed / upset by it is not weird dammit.

11. Similarly getting an A on an evil mathness test and being disappointed because it was a 96 out of 104 is also not weird dammit.

12. Apparently I'm an overachiever. Being back in school has kinda reminded me of this reeeeeally well.

13. I also multi-task rather well and this both awes and impresses the guy who sits behind me in my philosophy class, who apparently stares at me in total amazement when I have the laptop with me - as I sit there working on my term paper, still participating in the discussion and occasionally taking notes.

14. Slamming the truck door closed on your foot - not so fantabulous!

15. Blow up sharks are, apparently, all the rage at concerts.

16. And tortilla's make great frisbees. Who knew?

17. I'm not sure I want to know how either managed to get through security...

18. Arizona has the most amazingly pathetic mosh pits I've ever seen - seriously, drunken jocks doing ring around the posey are Not what I picture when I think of a decent pit. It's really very sad, there's not even any decent shoving taking place... *I* could jump into the mosh pits here and come out unscathed, that's just not right!

19. There's nothing more refreshing than sitting in an icey cold beer!

20. Really, -nothing-.

21. It is possible to orgasm just from the sensation of really fucking awesome music at a nice loud concert.

22. It's also possible to orgasm from that music when Daivd Draiman is revealed to be suspended on a combo-religious symbol with his arms restrained...

23. I really need to stalk David Draiman and do unspeakably naughty things with/to him.

24. Mathness homework sucks. Even after getting into an argument with an evil nazi mathness instructor. This is a well established fact, I know, but it bears repeating frequently. *sighs and goes off to continue mathness homework*

Item Genders

If you are like most people, common everyday items look inert to you but what you may not know is that many of them have a gender. For example:

1. Ziploc Bags -- Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2. Copier -- Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. It is an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3. Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over inflated.

4. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft and squeezable and retain water.

5. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it . . and, of course, there's the hot air part.

6. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

9. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

10. Remote Control -- Female .. . . Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Writing Weirdness...

Another non-"word poem"!! ;)

Untitled (bus stop poem)
(Written: June 1, 2005)

Walking through clover, sun warming my back,
dark clouds over the northern mountains,
thoughtful, contented expression ... nearly content...
Hydraulic doors exhale, closing behind me,
avoid the stiff, stony unyielding cement,
spring green calling to my steps.
Clean grass scent obscured by exhaust fumes
I breathe shallow through the nose, filtering,
always filtering - air, heart, thought, life...
Time - evil, impartial, dispassionate time,
too little time, too much time.. to think
as I walk towards metal monstrosity
trees shaped of cold iron,
unbreathing, unreal, unappealing -
who created this bus stop 'art'
that mimics nature,
offends the soul?
Mind wandered, slipped
reflective as office building glass,

glaring beneath desert sun, smile gone...
Awareness verging on depressed
discontent as I wait, impatient...

Clouds part, sun shining through - a natural accusation -
a bee hovers near my arm,
I, the only flower on this 'tree' bench,
poor confused little bug
I smell sweet, I'm not food...

he flies off, my lips quirk, almost smile,
nature understands my heart
... and the bus arrives.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Random Quote Mondays

And now for another "Random Quote":

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

mmmmmmm... quoty goodness! :D

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Why Women Lie

One day, while a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water, and she needed the thimble to make her living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with a wooden thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some time later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river. When she cried out, The Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three! Lord, I am a poor woman and am not able to take care of three husbands, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, or for the benefit of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it!

Saturday, March 21, 2009



Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand masks,
And none of them are me.
Don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.

I give you the impression that I'm secure, that confidence is my name
And coolness my game,
And that I need no one. But don't believe me.

Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in aloneness, in fear.
That's why I create a mask to hide behind, to shield me from the glance
That knows, but such a glance is precisely my salvation.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from my own self-built prison walls.
I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing and that I'm just no good,
And that you will see this and reject me.

And so begins the parade of masks. I idly chatter to you.
I tell you everything that's really nothing, and
Nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm _not_ saying.
I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and ME.
But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand.

Each time you're kind and gentle, and encouraging,
Each time you try to understand because you really care,
My heart beings to grow wings, very feeble wings, but wings.

With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding,
You alone can release me from my shallow world of uncertainty.
It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me,
The blinder I may strike back.
But I'm told that love is stronger than strong walls,
And in this lies my hope, my only hope.

Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands,
But gentle hands, for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder,
I am every man you meet, and also every woman that you meet,
And I am YOU.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Words of Wisdom...

So I realized I missed one! Like two weeks ago. So today you get Two, cuz I'm just generous like that *grins*:

Failure is the path of lease persistence. (<= I'm pretty sure they meant least! *hehe*)

Fearless courage is the foundation of victory.

... strange combination of fortunes, but they were the first two I found when I reached way down, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep deep down into my pocketbook. The big one. The one my brother stuffs things into whenever I carry it and I'm not paying enough attention to what he's doing and then later I wonder why the damn thing went from weighing four pounds to seventeen...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Things I've learned...

First of all - Happy St. Patty's Day to all ye Irish descendants! And a bonnier day I couldn't hope for! :)

Have you ever had one of those mornings where, after a long hot shower, you feel so amazingly clean that it's just downright abnormal somehow and you have a severe impulse to dash outside and roll around on some nice fresh cut grass or something in order to not feel so "weird" anymore? ... yeah, it's one of those mornings.

So even though I usually do "things I've learned..." on Fridays - cuz I'm a rebel like that ye see - I'm going to do it today instead. Cuz I'm nice sometimes. And I'm bored. And I haven't done it in like three weeks or something.. so here ya go, enjoy! :P

1. Waking up and spending two hours masturbating really, really makes you hungry for the rest of the day.

2. Especially if you eventually cum from it. *nods wisely*

3. Popcorn and hot chocolate go well together and make a wonderfully nutritious meal!

4. Butterflies should not try to fly across freeways unless they're suicidal.

5. Suicidal butterflies have this really, really strange tendency to get sucked in through that like inch that I have the window of the truck open, thereby committing suicide by smacking into my head...

6. ... this actually hurts more than most people would think, and it does not make me happy.

7. Trusting people who are "advisers" at community colleges... not so good an idea!

8. If it turns out that taking geology was worthless as far as fulfilling any of my requirements and transferring credit-wise goes.. I'm gonna be homicidally unhappy.

9. Having a guaranteed A in philosophy makes me happy.

10. Having an A in the evil mathness also makes me happy, but only because it means that all my damned studying and growling is paying off. Slowly but surely.

11. Discovering that I have to take more math than I wanted to in order to avoid taking more language than I want to ... sucks severely huge, dirty, sweaty, nasty, hairy donkey balls.

12. Schoolgirl skirts are evil and cause trouble. One should only wear them if they are a schoolgirl or they like trouble.

13. Trouble comes in all shapes, sizes, colours and flavours. Not something I didn't already know, but it certainly bears repeating.

14. Some cocks ... are just so disturbingly, deliciously suckable ... that ya can actually miss them. Just the cocks, not necessarily the males attached to them.

15. Watching yummy bdsm porn tends to enhance all sorts of naughty desires. *nods sagely*

16. Spring break rocks.

17. Except the part where I need to study for the math midterm that happens the day I get back to school. *mutters*

18. And the part where I have to clean one hundred fifty-seven million, nine hundred eighty-four thousand, three hundred twenty-six dishes.

19. If not for stupid laws about things like killing other people being all rude and stuff.. my roommate would be about eighty-seven feet under at this point. He frustrates me.

20. Being horny, irritated and hungry all at once... creates an interesting internal conflict that leads to thoughts such as "yanno, if you were a zombie stripper... you could kill him, fuck him and eat him all at once and it'd be totally cool with everyone around ya!"

21. I really do have a frozen octopus tentacle with which to poke da Nyxie in da breasts if she doesn't find #20 totally giggle worthy... not so much something I've "learned" as something I'm promising to do and later post about. *grins*

And I think that's enough for now! :P

Writing Weirdness...

Another non-"word poem"! :)

Colours (tentative working title)
(Written: May 2005)

I feel like I'm marinating in sweat
and I don't care
there's so much colour right here!
A lovely soft breeze,
shade through the trees
and birds and butterflies and me.
The sky's a bright, clear blue,
leaves a crisp green,
bark a strong brown
and I'm sitting between
a lake dazzling like diamonds
and flowers glistening like gold
the only hint of black and white
is the paper and pen in my hands,
everything else is vibrantly between
shades of life, reality,
despite the dreamy quality
of sitting on lush grass,
enjoying the breeze.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Random Quote Mondays

And now for another "Random Quote":

I'm surprised that you've never been told before
that you're priceless and you're precious
even when you are not new.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tech Support...

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, in fact crash the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 In the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

A Troubled User

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings: Alimony &Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. Installing new entertainment applications such as Dinner and a Movie 7.0, Tickle the Pickle 3.1, Licking the Long Lollipop 1.3 and Hiding Mr. Happy 4.2 may enable you to occasionally run your old favorites again.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software such as Flowers 2.1, Diamonds 5.0 and Multiple Orgasms 4.7!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Words of Wisdom...

More recent fortune cookie funness:

Don't accept that others
know better than you.

... now, if we follow the rule of adding "in bed" to that ... it means I'm a sex GODDESS and no one knows more than me so ya'll should be grovelling and begging for attention and advice! *grins* ... *waits* ... *waits more* .... well c'mon then, get to grovelling!

*giggles and munches on fortune cookies*

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Feelin silly...

Right so I'm wasting about four minutes of study time between reading a cute meme post from ET and doing it myself, cuz I needed a break. Mathness sucks. My 'album' looks pretty cool all things considered. :)

1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit "random." The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to Random Quotations. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on "explore the last seven days." The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use photoshop or a similar program to put it all together.Here's my album cover:

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Writing Weirdness...

So without further ado here's something not a 'word poem'. (Bet you were getting sick of them right? *hehe*)

Fading Circle

(Written: May 29, 2005)

Love so thick, enveloping,
it courted forgetfulness,
loss of self, integrity, life...
Trust so deep, encompassing,
it married manipulation,
eyes open blindness, subtle strife...
raw and shocking,
calculating and complete...
Rage and pain, confusion,
waking from a dream...
Time needed to process, comprehend,
awareness comes so slowly, every day swiftly gone,
unyielding time won't bend...
Anger fading, wounds pinken,
deeper healing than expected begins...
Realization dawns, self awakening,
knowledge washes through, over,
sluicing trauma off the soul...
A new day, cloudy, sun shining through, fingers of Life...
and the rawness fades.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Random Quote Mondays

Today I've got a pair to share, the first amusing little pearl of wisdom is (egotistically) something that flew freely from mine own mouth sometime back in May of 2007 during a conversation with a male friend of mine (and it's just SO worth sharing!) , the second is Wilde, who can go wrong with Wilde? *grins* Enjoy!:

Penises are always jealous of other penises, that is the nature of penises.

I love talking about nothing, it's the only thing I know anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Sunday, March 8, 2009

An Angry Letter From England

Actual British complaint letter. The piece suggests two things:

1) Americans and Canadians are not the only ones who get poor service from their ISP, cable and/or alarm companies. (NTL is a cable operator in Britain).

2) The Brits probably write the world's best letters of complaint.


Dear Cretins:

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your four-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, telephone, and alarm monitoring.

During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service, which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative and seek to rectify these difficulties -- or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.

My initial installation was canceled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website. HOW?

I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived.

After 15 telephone calls over four weeks my modem arrived, six weeks after I had requested it -- and begun to pay for it. I estimate your Internet server's downtime is roughly 35% -- the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday through Friday and most of the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection.

I have made nine calls on my mobile to your no-help line and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals who it seems, are also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answering machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman. And several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore and also another one of those crucially important testicle moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care. It's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought British Telecom was crap; that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations; and that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum, incompetents of the highest order. BT -- wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success in the filthy mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver.

Any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief and will quickly be replaced by derision and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit -- they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.

Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL and its worthless employees.

Have a nice day. May it be the last in your miserable short lives, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twits.

May you rot in Hell,
Robert Stokes

Saturday, March 7, 2009

What kind of date are you?

Right, I did this years ago ... so I retook it... apparently I'm still a total freak. *grins*

Genghis Khunt
Random Brutal Sex Master (RBSM)

We almost called you Brutus the Uterus and attached this picture:

But we figured you wouldn't understand, and rightly so. We don't understand either. So you are Genghis Khunt: master of man, bringer of pain--riding your way to conquest after conquest.

Your sexual avarice is legendary. You've already had an unusually high amount of experience, and, still you look for more. You intimidate many. You make no apologies.

Your exact female opposite:
The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer
Personality-wise, you're carefree and relatively easy-going. You don't plan things out ahead of time; you tend to live in the moment. Of course, this can cause some damage when the moment happens to include a screaming orgasm with his younger brother. Hence the 'brutal' tag we've given you.

But you know what, take five seconds to lock the doors, and you'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with a little sex, or a whole lot.

AVOID: The Slow Dancer (DGLD)
CONSIDER: The 5-Night Stand (DBSM), The Hornivore (RBSM), The Playboy (RGSM)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid.

Saturday Poetry

So I've decided that occasionally on Saturdays I'm going to post poetry (other peoples) that I really find moving or silly or something. Cuz I think everyone needs more poetry in their lives.. so here's the first one.

The Invitation
(Oriah Mountain Dreamer)

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or
have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful
and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty
even when it is not pretty every day,
and if you can source your life from God's presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes"!

It doesn't interest me to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.


Right, a few people have quietly grumbled at me for not doing a few of my 'normal' posts. I'll do them all tomorrow, I promise - I'm too twitchymehsquirmyblergh to do them right now. :)

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dear roomie...

Dear Brainiac,

It's wonderful that you did dishes a few weeks ago. Really, it's awesome. It's really sweet that every so often you take out the trash or bring the can to the curb or back up from the curb. Honest, it's just a really nice surprise when it happens.

Now take the stick out of your ass and thrust that completely undeserved ego and your holier-than-thou whiny bitchass attitude aside and fucking do it more frequently you alcoholic Moronic DOUCHEBAG!!

The fact that you decided to clean your room a few days ago is wonderful. Yay you! I fucking care why? Oh, right! I remember why... because I had just done dishes for like the fifth time in two days and there were NO DISHES in the sink or on the counters or in the brothers room or on the stove or anywhere else... EXCEPT apparently for in your room.

It's so sweet that you were collecting them, apparently you were bored or something.

You made it sound as if you intended to put away the clean dishes that were sitting in the dishwasher and actually clean the dishes you had been collecting and growing things in .... and yet, here we are, four days later .... and guess what? Once again I have done all the dishes, including the dishes you took out of your room and left on the counter with, it seems, no REAL intention of actually doing them, because you knew that eventually I would get pissed off and do them myself, thanks to my OCD. How lovely for me.

I am not your mom.

I am not your wife.

I am not your girlfriend.

I am not your maid.

I swear to fucking Christ and the Almighty himself that was the last straw.... the next time you do it, and I know you will eventually ... I'm going to pummel your scrawny irish ass into the floor and take the dirtiest glass you've brought forth from the filth that is your bedroom and shove it SO FAR up your ass that it will require a mining team to retrive it!

*growls and mutters*
Lotsa love and stuff,
The Psychotic Cunt

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Writing Weirdness...

Some more of the "word poems"...


In keeping
Long off.


My own




Is in,




Virtually all


Are we
Rapidly breathing.




Answer me

Monday, March 2, 2009

Random Quote Mondays

And now for another "Random Quote":

We have strong prevailing southwesterly winds,
fifty-two percent of our days are overcast,
so as a nation we're infused with a wistful melancholy...
but we remain a relentlessly chipper population,
prone to mild eccentricity,
binge drinking
casual violence.
Breakfast is served seven till nine...
and not a minute later!

Yes, I did write it out like that on purpose. *grins* It amused me!

If anyone other than 'Drew knows what this is from, I will give them hugs. HUGS!

Hugs are good. :)

Sunday, March 1, 2009

FREE sex toys!!!

It's all Nyxie's fault... I have to do this. No, really, you don't understand, I have to! Cuz I wouldn't mind at all wining free kinky stuffs. Seriously, that would be awesome. What? Stop looking at me funny! How could I avoid trying it out when Tattooed Minivan Mom is giving away sex toys? One can never have enough toys... never... especially free toys!... and I might even share with da Nyxie. Maybe. *grins evilly*


So apparently I'm doing better in my philosophy class than I had thought.

It's taken me since Thursday afternoon to stop being so thoroughly blissed by the take home test we had to do, which no one but me got back on Thursday. (Apparently my instructor really listened when I said it was driving me nuts not knowing and since he knows I have OCD he didn't brush it off as exaggeration - which is a good thing actually since it was eating at the back of my brain horribly with all sorts of doubts and whatnot.) He made a point of finishing mine and giving it to me before I left class Thursday morning... and I got to read his responses right before my evil mathness test.

What grade did I get, you ask? *grins* I got such a strong hundred percent / "A" on it that he twice wrote on it that if I don't want to do any other tests, the term paper, even show up to class.. I still have a guaranteed A for the course! *preens!*

For example take a look at question nineteen and my response to it...

In what way might you value intelligent ignorance as superior to much knowledge? How can Philosophy foster that value?

Like Socrates, questioning and listening to the answers, questioning even more when the answers are contradictory and simply don't "make sense", one will eventually learn... that they know nothing. Being aware that you know nothing, accepting that you are ignorant because that is essentially all anyone can be is, surprisingly, rather intelligent, the mind opens to more and more, while having "knowledge" tends to close the mind, filling it with worthless bits of fluff and giving rise to arrogance and ego. Philosophy, by questioning anything and everything, helps to remove that fluff, bit by bit, until we're capable of having that epiphany that we know nothing.

Or question ten (which Nyxie might enjoy as it regards morality, which she feels strongly that I still have too much of *grins*)...

In your own words, what is Harry Browne's conclusion about morality? Do you agree? Why or why not?

I must assume that Mr. Browne was a very well read gentleman, quite possibly moreso than most of his acquaintances would ever have realized, as his view that ethics are a pretense and morality essentially a snare designed to place other peoples happiness ahead of our own, closely mirrors concepts that Donatien de Sade discussed at length in Justine (1787), including the rather driving idea that selfishness (i.e., seeking our own happiness and gratifications) is and should be everyone's policy and feeling guilt of any kind over being selfish is quite silly considering that everyone is being selfish. To say that I agree with both gentlemen sounds a bit odd considering that one of my driving goals, the very reason for my return to school in fact, is to be better able to help people. However, if we look closely at my desire it is clear that is is, actually, a selfish goal. I find pleasure in helping others, quite a bit of it actually, it fulfills certain needs I have as a woman that would, otherwise, go unmet - the fact that others benefit from it is almost circumstantial, really, since the motivation is my own happiness. In fact, in thinking about it more closely, it fulfills more of my desires than I had originally realized since I intend to practice "talk therapy" and to urge those who feel they need or would benefit from medications to seek out other counselors. I have no intention of prescribing medications at all thus one might contend that in a very subtle manner I am engaging in nonconsensual emotional sadism.

Surprisingly, when I printed out my paper I didn't notice that somehow it had saved before what was supposed to be the final line of that answer ("Based upon that I'm sure Mr. Browne would say, with a smile, that my morality is as it should be, more selfish than I had even realized.") so it was in fact slightly truncated. That doesn't seem to have bothered my instructor however, who wrote beside that question that "we should talk more when we get a chance." *grins*

Even in college I'm a freak it seems, but apparently depending upon what department is considering that, it's not necessarily a 'bad' thing. *beams*


At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service." "The act of doing things for other people." Then I heard the terms:

Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City/County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations

And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant. Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "service" a few of his cows.

SHAZAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us.