Monday, February 23, 2009

Weekly Weather Report

I meant to do this yesterday, but I got distracted... it's all my brothers fault. That's my story and I'm sticking to it! But anyway, onto the weekly weather report:

This weeks Seven Day Outlook:

Monday: In the morning, high risk of cleaning storms, about ninty percent. Counters will clear up and tempers will soar by mid afternoon followed by a much needed shower and heavy study-traffic around the computer desk areas. In the evening, fair chance of a siblings hockey game, about eighty-five percent, followed by a lengthy drive to deliver kinky toys. Tempers will drop severely overnight with a chance of decent sleep until the alarm blares sometime early Tuesday.

Tuesday: In the morning, moderate chance of forgetting something important before dashing out the door to school coinciding with a high risk of accidentally running into the door frame and mashing a poor innocent breast roughly, about ninty-seven percent. Stress levels will rise sharply during psychology with a chance of panic attacks by mid-test. Worries will slowly fall into the afternoon with frustration levels rising sharply around one-thirty p.m. In the evening, risk of insane giggling, around ninty-three percent, followed by an exhausted calm settling in the area of the computer lab until the "chauffer" arrives. Talking will increase significantly with a moderate chance of minor verbal explosions until bedtime.

Wednesday: In the morning, olfactory senses will be offended, moderately to strongly, until the kitty box has been thoroughly cleaned, followed by felines plotting and attempting murder until their appetites are sated. High risk of household chores through the morning, about eighty-five percent, before frustration levels and tempers rise due to a nasty increase in studying for math. By late afternoon thoughts of killing math instructors and burning math books will be at a high of ninty-nine percent, risk of study cessation also roughly ninety-nine percent. In the evening, stress levels will wane due to giggle levels increasing dramatically either from futzing around at the computer or watching silly cartoon movies. Overnight, tempers will settle, risk of dreams being significantly stranger than normal.

Thursday: In the morning, high probability of forgetting to eat as stress levels skyrocket without warning upon the realization that no amount of studying will have adequately prepared for the math test, followed by almost hysterical compulsive glances into math notes throughout the morning. In the afternoon, determination not to commit homicide-suicide during math class will wane briefly before recieving test, quickly followed by quiet chuckles as the test is completed in under fifteen minutes. Late afternoon high chance of giggly hysteria before and through homework and other classes, followed by intense relaxation near the computer lab with a possibility of random poetry creation, around seventy percent.

Friday: In the morning, high risk of not getting out of bed until nearly noon, around ninety-five percent followed by ignoring the felines biting at ankles and toes because they're hungry. By early afternoon probability of resumed storms of cleaning coinciding with dark grumblings over how only one person in the house ever does any cleaning, approximately one hundred percent. In the evening, significant chance of attending siblings hockey game coinciding with a sore throat from screaming encouragement or abuse at sibling because he sucks mightily.

Saturday: In the morning, chances of yard work imminent immediately after tending to pushy felines, followed by advantagously enjoying being home alone for a few brief hours. Chances of attempts at studying by early afternoon, around thirty-seven percent. In the evening, probability of verbal sparring rises sharply followed by intense and frequent eye rolling at the sibling and frantic typing in the computer keyboard area. Overnight, risks of not going to bed at a decent hour dramatically increase in tandem with giggle storms.

Sunday: In the morning, chances of saying "fuck the morning I'm staying in bed!" rise signficantly as any hint of light causes hissing and knee-jerk pulling covers over head reaction. By early afternoon food needs will force a more animated response followed by attempted murder from the irritated felines. Late afternoon risk of studying coinciding with much growling every time it's interrupted, roughly ninety-percent. In the evening, chances of blogging rise significantly despite attempts to get shit done.


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