Friday, February 13, 2009

Things I've learned...

"And now for another installment ooooof..." ... things I've learned! *chuckles* I'm amusing myself far too much today. It's the lack of sleep I think. But moving along!

1) No matter how long I'm gone from the academic world I will always be that person in the class who the teachers adore and think of as an "unofficial TA".

2) And then tease me lots when they forget something, turn to me for a prompting ("Oh, that Greek hero you're trying to remember is Bellerophon.)" and my response is *blinkblink* "Dammit, I -know- it, it's on the tip of my tongue!" before I remember that I'm at school and so I'm supposed to try not to curse like a drunken sailor...

3) Those same teachers will also take great pleasure in teasing me for doing the work ahead of time and somehow coming up with 137% of something because math and I dislike each other. A lot.

4) I take teasing from teachers I like way more gracefully than from, say, my brother who is usually a complete asshole.

5) Apparently I will also always be that classmate who frets over not having studied enough, convinced that she failed miserably and should just kick this whole "school thing" to the curb...

6) ... and then still gets a nice high A.

7) Which will piss off a lot of the people around me.

8) Although they'll try really hard not to show it because I've been sooooooooo nice to them every time we've chatted. *smiles evilly*

9) Which I will recognize because they get that "my face is going to break any second now" twitchy look while they try to happily smile at me when they really just wanna bitchslap me.

10) I actually wouldn't mind if one or two of the really sexy male ones bitchslapped me.

11) ... so long as we aren't still at school at the time. *nods*

12) Trying to keep a house clean when you live with a pair of thoughtless, self-centered bachelors is like trying to swim in jello - it just doesn't work and by the time you realize it you're exhausted and you've eaten your way through nine boxes of the wiggly stuff only to realize you're going to die in a moment anyway.

13) Explaining things like #12 to other people with a very matter of fact voice makes people either tilt their head in confusion wondering why you know that it's not possible to swim through jello, ask out loud if anyone could actually eat nine boxes of jello, or giggle a LOT.

14) I like the ones that giggle.

15) Creepy people can be found anywhere, especially on college campuses.

16) Inevitably they will find me and take it upon themselves to sit down with me and start weird religious conversation...

17) to paraphrase horrifically from Miracle on 34th St: "Yes Jeje, there is a sign over your head that says 'Soul Saving Needed Here!' ...really."

18) Philosophy, when used with a sweet tone of voice and a rapier wit, can scare away even the creepy religous guys.

19) That makes me giggle a Lot.

20) Until I bump into the creepy guy hours later and he remembers me and tells me he's looking forward to chatting again sometime.

21) Stalkers, when they're creepy-religious-guys instead of delectable-sexy-well-hung-guys, suck huge, heavy, nasty, sweaty donkey balls.

22) I have a very strong desire to find the secret colony where the delectable-sexy-well-hung stalker guys are hiding.

23) The depths of my embraced-insanity make for a great conversation motivator in my philosophy class. People start getting substantially more interactive if it's been too quiet for too long and I start to compare something we've just discussed to something the Marquis de Sade wrote in Justine or The 120 Days of Sodom.

24) It's important not to try to look at my notebook during math when I'm taking notes - when I do I get quiet and for some reason this prompts my instructor to call on me (even though I usually answer thirty of her forty questions ever damn class period just because it irritates me that no one else bothers and then she looks like she's going to explain something again that she's just gone over fourteen times already).

25) Calling on me when I'm not expecting it causes me to look up, startled, and blurt out things like, "Shit, fuck, what was the question?"

26) This makes my math instructor change colours...

27) ... and I have to try really hard not to giggle but to instead look very contrite as I babble out a quick 'sorry' before quickly supplying an answer of "negative 2x" ... because for some reason, that's always the answer when she calls on me unexpectedly.

And I think that'll cover it for now since I've just remembered that I have a take home test I need to finish for philosophy in addition to a lot of reading for assorted classes, all of which I'm supposed to do between making more and more and more toys for the Fet event and the order we have to finish filling now that I'm no longer trying to cough up my assorted organs. *nods* More on all of that some random time later this weekend! :D


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